Many people live their lives in fear; fear of failure, embarrassment or of loss. These fears control the lives of many people, truly holding them back from success and realizing their own dreams. It is inner demons that talk many of us out of success and install a huge lack of confidence. Today we will discuss how fear can be conquered with determination, tenacity, knowledge and logic.
A lack of self-confidence that has stemmed from a fear of failure is one of the biggest problems faced by my clients. The beliefs you often have about yourself, that self-doubt that is constantly in your mind and spreading fear, often appear to be fact although actually they are really only opinions and figments of your mind which you have developed and dwelled on. These opinions you have of yourself are based on the experiences you have had throughout your life which have shaped you into the person you are today.
Your experiences are both positive and negative; for example, failing a test at school may have severely knocked your confidence. Alternatively, you could have turned that failure into something positive and become a stronger and more determined person because of it so you do not fail again. Fear and lack of self-confidence often stem from taking an experience and turning it into a negative one.
When you take a step back and look at the experiences you feel may have ignited your fear you will be able to find both a positive and negative outcome for pretty much all of them. By doing this it will enable you to think more logically about why you are fearful and this in turn will help you to tackle your fears. When you begin to understand your fears and where they came from you will have the knowledge and power to overcome them.
Changing your beliefs about yourself, the way you look at experiences and your overall mindset is an absolute must if you ever want to conquer your fears. When you do this you will gain the self-confidence, the motivation and the inspiration you need to get up and take back the life you had lost to fear. You may decide to go out and make your dream a reality or even just do that one thing you have always wanted to do but have always been to fearful. I know that it is always so much easier said than done but I believe in you. Just take it one step at a time. Look back into your past and consider those experiences that have made you fearful. You can do it. You can be free of your fear.
Until next time… Be inspired, be motivated, be of sentimental value and be authentic in everything you do!
Have you ever wondered if you are getting the most out of your life right now? Are you the success you have always dreamt of being? I think we all have, what we must remember is that today we build our tomorrow.
The first step in changing our lives is making the decision to do so. However, this decision is so hard to make. It is made even more difficult and stressful by knowing that this decision may be the most important one we will ever have to make. Whilst this process is happening your inner demons will creep out and encourage self-doubt, skewing the way you feel and making it even harder to decide.
When you make choices it is important to keep a level head, a clear mind and a strong understanding of what you need. This is why I have decided to share with you the four techniques I have put together and used in my own life to help myself make important decision. There is no perfect decision making process but these techniques will help you to make a clear and concise decision.
Get a second opinion
Going with a gut instinct means that your decision is being highly swayed by your emotions which may not lead you to what you really want to do. Try to get a second opinion on what you really should do; this will help you get a bigger picture. Choose someone who you trust and someone who does not have a vested interest in the outcome.
Gather and study all of the available information and facts
The outcome of big decision should not depend solely on how you are feeling in that exact moment in time. Feelings can change dramatically from one day to the next. Before consulting your gut feeling, try to take into account all of the important facts and assess the implications of each outcome. Consider the risk of each outcome; ask yourself who that outcome will affect? Is it feasible? Will it bring you the success you deserve?
Be sure to set yourself a deadline
While weighing up all of your options it is important to set a deadline. Spending too much time seeking out possible solutions and trying to pin point the right one can actually make the process more difficult and more stressful than it needs to be. While a certain period of time should be allotted for considering your options it may help to set a deadline for making your decision and then stick to it. Decide what would be a realistic timescale to make your decision by and write it down somewhere for your reference.
Make a pros and cons list
Sit down and make a list of the pros and cons of each of your options. I know this is a very old technique for making a decision, but it is also one of the most effective. This will give you a sensible and well thought out decision. Take a sheet of paper, split it down the middle and write out the advantages and disadvantages on each side of the division. Now, rather than counting how many you have on each side, you should instead review and grade each point on a scale of 1 – 5. Make your assessment on how significant each pro and con is on your life, think about how each point will impact your life.
I hope I have given you some techniques you can apply in your own life and in your own decision making process. You can change your life and be the success you have always wanted to be, you just need to make that decision.
Until next time, be the hero in your success rescue.
It’s December first, the last month of the year and as the end of the year draws ever closer I see the people around me reflecting and reviewing their 2017’s. Take a minute now to review your 2017. Have you had much luck? Have you made a success of yourself? Have you accomplished that one special thing you’ve always wanted – whether that’s an achievement in life or in business?
Success can often look like it is eluding us, particularly when we are in the throes of a dry season or perhaps a season of rest where it may look like nothing seems to be moving. Have you ever longed so hard for something, worked so hard, prayed and fasted so hard and it just seem like that desire is not being fulfilled?
Here’s the game changer, this is the one thing, the one success factor you’re missing out on. This is the one ingredient we often toss out ever so quickly when we are faced with challenges, yet without it, it is impossible to achieve our dreams.
This ingredient is so important for reconnecting with our passion and re-engineering our life purpose if needs be. The success factor is relentless and unadulterated faith. Without faith it is impossible to please our heavenly Father. When you have brought a request to his alter, we must leave it at the alter and not worry about it. I know, it is often easier said than done. In the face of adversity, no matter how difficult it is, no matter how it looks, we must exercise faith and believe that He has heard our cry.
There is a success season for everything under the sun. Your friends have their own seasons and so do you. It may seem that great things are happening to your friends and your season of greatness may appear to have been delayed. That does not mean that God has not heard your prayer, it simply means that your season is yet to come. A word of advice, stay in your lane, stay in your lane with GRATITUDE, rejoice for others who are in their season. Stay in expectation of your own success, it is nearer than you think and you can do things to make your season come early.
Now, think how has your 2017 really been? You have one month left to make 2017 count. What can you do to achieve something and make a difference?
Today we’re tackling a very significant topic, ‘How can I stop worrying?’ This is a major success factor, learning how to overcome your constant worrying.
Have you ever heard yourself or someone else say:
“Lord, how do I pay my rent?”
“Lord, how can I get earn more money?”
“Lord, how can I feed my children this month?”
“Lord, how I become that song writer, how do I become that artist I want to be?”
Many worry and stay worried because of things that we cannot control. While there are things that we desire that really do need our attention. We must also accept that there are many things we cannot change no matter how many times we try. Worrying inhibits success.
I have a huge amount of people write to me and ask for advice or life coaching. Today we are focusing on a message received from Kevin in Cincinnati. He wrote to me and said:
Dear Princess of Suburbia,
I find myself always worried and in panic mode all the time. My nerves are shut down and I sometimes find myself struggling to even get out of bed. I am a 37-year-old recently divorced and single father who has been granted the custody of my 4-year-old daughter. I am worried that I may not be able to care for her as much as she needs as I am also working a lot.
I am very worried that if I keep missing my work I may get fired and may stand a chance of not even being able to provide a shelter for my daughter. I am just worried about everything, how can I stop worrying?
Kevin, my heart really does go out to you. I really do pray right now that God’s divine strength will come over you as you take on the task of being the sole provider for your daughter. It is never easy raising a child, let alone a 4-year-old girl who is probably very impressionable at this point and into a lot of things by now. My heart truly goes out to you.
Let’s talk about worries. In the bible the word of God says that we should resist from worrying as we really do not have control over events in our lives. Kevin, there is a reason that you are the one chosen to care for your daughter, trust in that. Truly trust in that decision. God has your back and you have all it takes to be the parent she needs. We are made in God’s likeness and in such we are all of his virtues. Worrying will only bring sickness, it will bring sickness for you, mentally and maybe even physically.
So here is how you will successfully overcome your worries, here is the success factor: Determine which of your worries you are able to take control of and go tackle the right away. Determine which worries you have absolutely no control over, take them and place them at the masters feet. Then let go, let go Kevin, let go. Trust that God will take care of you and your daughter. Stretch your arms in total surrender and watch will happen.
There is a motto that I use in my life journey and I am going to share this with you right now. I call it the stepping out motto:
S – Step out and shape up
T – Take Charge
E – Exercise your potential
P – Perform with excellence
O – Overcome with your inner strength
U – Use your talents to achieve unlimited success
T – Take the initiative to success
We must never be afraid of failure because wisdom is always at the other side waiting to thrust us into success. Failure is never the problem. Not learning from mistakes and not putting those mistakes to greater use is the problem. Some people live on the island of potential for their entire lives, others move from that island and refocus themselves onto the next steps. The choice is ultimately ours to make, it is important that we focus on our goals on a daily basis. It is what we put in front of ourselves that will consume us. So having your worries continually at the forefront of your mind will be all consuming. You must acknowledge your worries, determine which you can take control of and which you must lay to rest. That is the success factor.
I’ve recently been thinking of the characteristics and expectations of who a diva is versus a stud. I want to talk to you about the number one lethal mistake that divas and studs make that make their lives spiral down and out of control. Think about your preconceptions of these two words that we use to describe others…
A diva is usually perceived as self-absorbed. Sometimes a woman who has self-confidence and self-respect can be misunderstood and judged as a prima donna.
A stud is usually the male counterpart of a diva. This is usually a physically attractive man, who knows that he is attractive and may consider himself as God’s gift to mankind!
Consider now, do you define yourself as a diva or a stud? Or are you treading very lightly towards categorising yourself as a diva or stud? If you find yourself going down that path you need to think carefully…will this help or hinder my success?
What’s the number one mistake that divas and studs make?
It’s being self-absorbed! Thinking it’s all about you!
Many people regard self-absorption as being selfish. I feel that this may even go beyond selfishness and beyond being self-centred. When you get to a point in your life when all you think about is me! Me! Me! Me!
You see other people that are prospering and rather than thinking “wow they are doing quite well”, you think perhaps I can support them on that journey and maybe my time will come too! Instead, divas and studs do not look at it like that, they become upset, jealous and angry. Angry at the world. With that kind of anger there is no room to even congratulate someone else who is doing well.
What’s the success factor?
The deadliest thing you can do to kill your success is to be self-absorbed. Think if you were self-absorbed even if an opportunity came your way you would be unable to see it as it probably won’t come in the package you wanted it. You may not be able to see through anger, jealousy and sense of entitlement.
If you have found yourself in a position where you have been self-absorbed. If you can truly tell yourself today that you have been a self-centred person and you have been selfish. You need to quit it and quit it right now if you are ever going to succeed.
This is the success factor: discard your selfishness. Don’t be a stud. Don’t be a diva.
The number one mistake you can make is thinking it’s all about you. If you live by these concepts you will be well on your way to living that amazing life you have always dreamt of.
Be inspired, be motivated, be of sentimental value and be authentic in everything you do!
Getting out of the judgement zone is one of the success factors to life. I’m sure we have all experienced people looking at you from a physical point and just judging you, whether it’s been from sisters, brothers, friends or total strangers.
I once interviewed a young lady in the entertainment industry, what was interesting about this lady is that when I first met her I noticed that she was covered in tattoos. I’m talking big bold tattoos from her neck to her feet. One thing she said to me was that people still judge her by her looks rather than taking the time to get to know her, you wouldn’t believe this was still the situation in 2017.
So who have you been judging today? A family member? A friend? The person serving you coffee? Have you judged someone for the way that they dress? Has someone done you a disservice or maybe they have been rude to you?
Have you ever considered that there may have been a miscommunication? It is time for you to go beyond your initial judgement and see what the person actually meant or who that person really is. No-one wants to be wrongfully judged. So it’s time to get yourself out of that zone and help others to do the same.
What does judgement do to you and what is the success factor?
If you spend your time judging others or thinking about others judging you, you will be worn out. By the time you get to focus on your own mission you won’t have time for it and you won’t have the motivation to even attempt to go for it. If you spend time judging others – the way they look, the way they speak, their religion, their beliefs, the way they do things – and not focusing on yourself. You will not succeed in life.
To be successful you need to look at things in a different light. Rather than judging people, critique things with the aim to find a solution.
For you to progress in your life, for you to be successful in everything you do, you must remove judgement from your life. You need to remove it from your vocabulary and your thought processes. If you see someone around you judging either you or someone else, you need to move away. Judging will not get you what you want.
Judging people displays your true heart, it shows people how bitter you are and how jealous you are. It will never amount to anything successful. It is not one of the success factors. The success factor is moving from judgment to constructive criticism.
So that’s what I want you to think about today, who have you been judging and why? Write your thoughts down and think about solutions – can you transform your judgments into critiques and get results for yourself and others? Or have you been wrongfully judging people?
Quit judging people, stay in your lane and do what you have been called to do. Stay focused on your own success.
I know it can be hard sometimes to stay motivated, especially if nothing seems to be going your way. You may even feel like packing it all in and closing the metaphorical shop doors but trust me it will get better. It always gets better eventually, you’ve just got to hold out and stay positive. Remember you have a destiny to fulfil and you’re the only one who can make it happen!
When I struggle to stay inspired I like to read the stories of other successful women entrepreneurs or I take the time to read the words of inspirational figures, from recent times and times gone by. Here are my favourite success quotes to encourage you on your down days:
1. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller
2. “Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment in time over which you have any control over: now.” – Denis Waitley
3. “You can either row your life’s boat with no passion or get up and be somebody!” – Dr Princess Fumi Hancock
4. “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.” – Virginia Woolf
5. “Our weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison
6. “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” – Amelia Earhart
7. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
8. “Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” – Og Mandino
9. “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
10. “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style.” – Maya Angelou
11. “A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.” – Khalil Gibran
12. “The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” – Oprah Winfrey
13. “One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world.” – Malala Yousafzai
14. “It’s better to be a lion for the day than a sheep all your life.” – Elizabeth Kenny
15. “What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens” – Ellen Glasgow
16. “Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl
17. “I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou
18. “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney
19. “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso
20. “Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s when you’ve had everything to do, and you’ve done it.” – Margaret Thatcher
21. “Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinem
22. “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, you ought to set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin
23. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” – Audrey Hepburn
24. “Success is only meaningful and enjoyable if it feels like your own.” – Michelle Obam
25. “No quitter wins anything in life! In life’s circumstances, we are always presented with choices:
door #1 – QUIT;
door # 2 – HOLD ON TO YOUR CREATOR THEN TAKE ACTION!”
– Dr Princess Fumi Hancock
26. “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” – Abraham Lincoln
27. “You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” – Richard Branson
28. “Don’t let your learning lead to knowledge. Let your learning lead to action.” – Jim Rohn
29. “It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.” – Madeleine Albright
30. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou
31. “Successful people do their homework. They take it very seriously and are committed to the task at hand. They do not make excuses, neither are they lazy. They are focused and understand that it will take hard work to make success happen. They are not looking for easy skims but are resilient. When they fall, they get back up again quickly and keep things moving.” – Dr Princess Fumi Hancock
Be inspired, be motivated, be of sentimental value. You are the hero of your life story, write it and write it brilliantly. Do not allow anybody else to write your story, understand that you are precious. You can do anything and accomplish everything you set to accomplish. You must understand that there is an inner star power in you. You need to find it, you need to rock it and rock it well!
Check out my previous blog post to help you take those first steps in discovering your inner star power and starting your journey to success.
On your journey to success there are many things you need to consider before you find your unique calling. Here is a key success factor you need to know at the start of your journey; before even thinking about finding your passion and your mission in life, career or business. In this blog post we will be discussing one of my recent podcasts and considering how will you set a goal when you’re not even sure what your purpose is.
The Success Factor: Understanding your Inner Star Power
For you to be able to set a goal you must understand that there is an inner star power that lies inside of you. You will not be able to set any concrete, attainable, feasible goal until you are able to understand your personal inner star power.
What is Inner Star Power?
Your inner star power is that genius in you, it’s what sets you apart from anyone else out there. Your inner star power is that uniqueness that you have, that area of brilliance that you have that no one else on this earth can contend with. Your inner start power is that place you need to tap into.
How do you Tap into that Inner Star Power and How is it a Success Factor?
To tap into your inner star power you need to start asking yourself these essential questions…Who are you? Who do you hope to be? How do you want others to see you?
If I met you on the street, how would you introduce yourself to me? What do you want to be known for? What is your area of brilliance?
It will be impossible for you to be able to truly set goals if you cannot answer those questions.
If you died today, how would you want your eulogy to read? What would you want people to say about you?
Once you figure out the answers to these questions it will become easy for you to set goals; whether they are life goals, relationship goals, career or business goals.
So, who are you? What do you want to be known for?
The number one golden step on your road to success is answering these questions. Figuring out a clear and defined answer is the success factor.
Don’t just say “I’m a nurse practitioner”, “I’m a mother”, “I’m an entrepreneur”, these are just the elements of you, not the whole you. Who are you really? Who are you deep down in your core?
For me, I am a vision midwife. I know that I have been called to help people deliver their vision, so I am not surprised that my path took me on my route to becoming a nurse, an advanced nurse practitioner. The tools I learnt when I was practising as a nurse has enabled me to answer the call to be your vision midwife, to deliver your vision.
Hello wonderful people and happy Monday to you all!
I am very excited to announce my FREE webinar to celebrate the launch of the all-new Storyteller Bistro. We will be unveiling the new learning platform and giving you a free masterclass taster where I will reveal the secret to advancing your business venture through writing – Don’t delay, sign up below!
If you really want to know how to master and tame your writing, this free webinar lays it all out for you!
Here’s just a sample of what I’ll cover during this incredible webinar:
What type of writing will further your business? How do they work?
How do I succeed in using writing as a business venture?
Where can I find an idea that will cost less than 99 cents to start a business venture?
How do I use this idea to work on building a business?
How do I turn this less than 99 cents idea into a simple, paid business venture?
Is there an inexpensive way of implementing this million-dollar worth idea?
How do you set up a creative business venture
Where do I find video, marketing and distribution strategies to enhance my business?
What is the best way to build visibility in my business?
Can I build an empire on writing?
…and much, MUCH More!
Remember to invite all your friends too – There will be a special reward that I will share with you all after the webinar…
Welcome to the Storyteller Bistro™ blog, designed to keep you updated with my latest insights and discoveries to aid you in delivering your story. If you have any topics or questions you would like me to address I would be more than happy to answer you, just drop me an email: email@example.com.
It is my goal to take you from where you are right now to get you where you desire to be, to deliver your vision and help you tell your story. So let’s get right into it…
Firstly, I want you to pause. Rethink the steps you are taking right now. Where’s your destination? Where will your next step take you? What’s currently missing that’s preventing you from success? Pick out your most beautiful notebook and write down your answers to these questions, don’t forget to date the page so you can refer back to it and see how far you’ve come. Together we will take your vision to the next level.
Today I want to start thinking differently on how you might make your vision a success. How you might deliver that vision. I want you to start thinking about giving birth to that vision.
I want you to carry your vision to term and birth it without any accidents.
Just like birthing your own children you are stretched to the maximum when you are delivering your child. You conserve your energy through your pregnancy until it is time to give birth to that child. Such is the case when you are birthing your destiny. Likewise, when you are birthing a divinely orchestrated vision: your mind is stretched and your heart is extended.
On the day that is destined to give birth to this baby called vision you must push past your body, your mind and the lies your enemy would whisper in your ears.
Push through the sarcasm of people around you, those who have told you that you will never make it; you must push through the ones who are constantly putting barriers ahead of your vision and push through your own mind which is hounding you with thoughts telling you that you are not worthy of such great gifts.
I dare you to push through and birth your dream.
This is the case for birthing your vision. So, if you’re frustrated or overwhelmed, in danger of giving up your dream. I dare you to push.
You are just one event away from making it. From making that dream come true. From becoming a writer, a singer, you are one event away from becoming that which you know has already been established and now you are just waiting for the manifestation. So push. Let me help you push.
This is just the beginning of our journey together. I need you to be inspired, be motivated, be of sentimental value and of course be authentic in everything you do.
Until next time, I dare you to deliver that vision. Write down your thoughts and feelings right now. Do you feel empowered to deliver your vision? Feel confident. I believe in you.